Our dear little dance teacher, Billie, emphasized certain points, but they weren't what you'd think a dance teacher would focus on. She said most of all to have fun and make sure you look like you're having fun. Don't look at your steps or squeeze your partner's hand too tight. Don't stress out too much if you make a mistake or get off beat. Just let it go and move on. Enjoy the dance.
She always said couples who dance together stay together because dancing was so much like life with someone. Each maintaining their separate space, while working together, adjusting to each other, letting slip-ups go without ruffling the overall goal too much. What wisdom Billie had!
This time in life with small children, we can totally be out of sync and exasperated at our partner's shortcomings, or we can let the small things go and take a step back. Enjoy the dance. Enjoy the challenge of it all as well as the many moments of joy. We're growing. We're living. And we're learning to love each other better.
I recently had the privilege of hearing Steve Call speak at our MOPS gathering. He is a marriage and family therapist and instructor at a local graduate school. He brought together the idea of how marriage and parenting can be similar.
Both deal with really seeing others, rather than focusing on yourself. There is a turning toward - a seeking of affection or attention or some other need. And we have a choice to turn toward our loved ones or away from them. And we have to be aware enough to recognize their bid in the first place. When we are consistent and available, our loved ones feel, well, loved. So, here is a link to the talk. Enjoy. And may you be more loved and a better giver of love because of it.
UPC MOPS - Steve Call
Look at the righthand sidebar and click on the MOPS Talk February 21.
